Characters Borrowed from ACFan's Story Memories all One Million Books of it,
used with Timmy Short's Permission. All of TSL's Characters were used with the permission of 'Goos'. The Android waiter is used with the permission of Joey Owens:
¥ ßå¥¥∂ ¥¨˜¬∂ †ß¬ ø¨¥¨¬∂ ¥¨ß∂ å¥˜∂∑ø¨¥∂ß ∫∂å¥¥¨ß∂ ¥˙∂ π∑ø¨µ¥ß∂∂ µ∂ å¥ ‰¥∂∂ ø¨˜ '˝ø¨ø¨ß'. (I said Uncle TSL could use Andwoids because he pwomised me a ride on 'Goos'.) (Hover your cursor over the strange words for the translation.)
All other characters, authors, and or celebrities are used with or they said it's in the mail. That's my story and I am sticking to it. If you think that you see yourself in this story please contact Dr. Lisa© ("\"© by Str8mayb and <em>The Haven Universe<\/em>\"") or Dr. Dan Richardson© ("©  By ACFan he of a million books and counting!")
For as long as sixteen-year-old David Smithfield could remember, his family had never paid much attention to Christmas. None of his family had ever believed in Santa Claus, that David could remember. The biggest thing that they did for Christmas was have a big breakfast on Christmas Day and exchange a gift or two. Nothing fancy, just simple gifts that they knew the recipient could use.
However, all that ended several years ago when several families of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins decided they would share their idea of Christmas with David's family. The last couple of years were very miserable for David's family as their peace and quiet, was completely destroyed by the well-meaning hordes of relatives.
They all descend on David's house on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Poor David, there were no cousins near his age out of the multitude of them, so he got stuck with pairs of eleven and twelve-year-old's. All they wanted to do was talk about all of their new toys and video games that Santa had brought them. Every single one of his cousins were shocked that he didn't have any video games. But as far as his cousins were concerned that wasn't the worst of it. They were absolutely astounded that he didn't have a TV in his room.
David couldn't dump his younger cousins on his younger brother Myke, as poor Myke was stuck with a bunch of eight and nine-year-olds; pretty tough for a thirteen-and-a-half-year-olds. Of course, Myke claims he was almost fourteen.
The only person in the Smithfield house that was happy with the invading horde was David's younger sister eight-year-old Teri. Since Teri was the only Smithfield girl, she got to entertain all of the female cousins. Teri was in seventh heaven as now she had lots of girls to play-house and dress up and her sixteen-year-old cousin Helen, of course, had brought her makeup kit. There was a lot of rustling and giggling coming from Teri's bedroom as there were six girls from six to sixteen in there doing whatever girls do when they get together. In fact, Teri had posted a sign on her bedroom door written in her Mom's best lipstick
Teri's Mom Melissa was ready to kill her daughter as she recognized the shade of lipstick used to create the sign. However, Teri was saved as Melissa burst out laughing at the misspelling and promised herself that after the relatives had left she would introduce Teri to the Welsh Boys' Choir, Only Boys Aloud. Of course, she would still have to come up with a suitable punishment for Teri, but that could wait until her cousins had left for their homes. Hopefully, sooner than later.
While Melissa's husband Cris was attempting to entertain the adults in their Living Room, and Family Room; Melissa was in the kitchen trying to figure out how she was going to feed the hungry relatives aka the Ravening Horde. You seem all them folks just brought themselves, a change of clothes or two, and their own presents. Not a crumb of food, not even a Fruitcake! Melissa decided to raid their Emergency Freezer and took out several pounds of Elk Liver, half a dozen bags of Frozen Succotash, another couple of bags of Frozen Brussel Sprouts. Then she went to their Emergency Dry Goods Cupboard and took out some bags of Brown Rice, some Farro, some Quinoa, and some Bulgar. She would fix them a dinner they would never forget!
As the saying goes, the best-laid plans of mice and men, in this case, a woman, oft go astray. That definitely was the case this time. As soon as the aroma of frying liver filled the house, Melissa had more hands to help her than would fit in her kitchen. Everybody grabbed a task, and soon the table was set, and it was filled with surprisingly scrumptious food. One of the girl nieces added bits of bacon, and some cheese to the Succotash, another one made fresh Hollandaise Sauce for the Brussel Sprouts; and surprisingly one of the youngest of her nephews showed he how to cook liver right. Of course, the first thing that he did was cut up the cooked liver to fee the cat and dog. He then had Melissa slice the remaining liver all six pounds of it into 1/4-inch-thick slices and then put them into a bowl of milk with a little fresh cracked pepper and Garlic Salt added. He did whine that he really wanted some of Mom's Seasoning Salt, as that would make it perfect, however, he said we will make do, and you will love it. While the Liver was soaking in the seasoned Milk, he had Melissa and his sixteen-year-old sister slice up about a ton of onions while he started cooking two or three rashers of bacon. Once there were enough onions sliced he started adding them to the frying bacon. By the time that Tommy was done he had a 12-inch frying pan and an Electric Skillet going full bore. Just as the onions started to turn a nice light, Golden Brown, Tommy had his older brother Tyler and his cousin David, take the liver out of the milk and then dredge it in the seasoned flour that he had prepared while the bacon was cooking. It was Peppered Bacon Tommy's favourite kind.
While the Elk's Liver mayhem was going on, Melissa and Melissa's Sister Helen, who she usually detested were working together turning the grains into a wonderfully unique and tasty side dish. That is once Tommy had released her. They had started by cooking the Brown Rice in Chicken Broth with several cloves of crushed Garlic until it was about a third of the way done, they then added the Farro, the Quinoa, some sliced Green Onions, and some sliced Crimini Mushrooms [Also known as Cremini, Brown Button, and German Brown] to the Chicken Broth and Brown Rice. They covered the pot and then went to rustle up some bread.
When everyone finally sat down for dinner they were eating in the Dining Room, the Living Room and the kitchen. No matter where they ate they all admitted that it was one of the best meals they had ever had.
While Melissa was smiling on the outside, she was crying on the inside and her smile didn't quite make it up to her eyes. As far as she was concerned the only thing other than the fact that she actually got along with Helen for once was the fact that her other sister and husband were taking everyone to IHOP®, for breakfast. Hopefully, the ravening horde would leave shortly after that; if not maybe she and her husband Tom could sneak out to buy a van full of groceries.
That Christmas was one of the few that the Smithfield's would never forget even though they tried mightily.
By their third Christmas of being invaded by their relatives, who were at least bring food; the Smithfield's had, had it up to their ears. They really wanted to get back to their private and quiet Christmas celebrations. They decided to have a Family Meeting and figure out what to do. They decided that this year they would spend the week of Christmas at a cabin that belonged to Tom's Uncle Darryl in the mountains up north. None of Melissa's relatives had ever met or even heard of Uncle Darryl, he now spent his winters in Jamaica to stay warm and work on his tan. Everyone thought that was a great idea, except for David, as he didn't want to be away from his boyfriend Jake for a whole week. They had been together for almost two years and David had escaped to Jake's house as often as he could during the invasions.
Before Tom could ask David why he wasn't excited about escaping the ravenous hordes, Myke popped up with,
"He just wants to stay home and play kiss face with Jake, and moan and make other strange noises throughout the night."
"That will be enough Myke, no one says anything about the noises that you and Sam make when he spends the night now do they?" Melissa pointedly asked Myke, causing him to blush and get fish mouth.
Tom then took control,
"David, we were going to ask you if you wanted to invite Jake to come with us, we have all ready cleared it with his parents Bill and Michael, and they had said yes. Myke if you don't keep that teenage lip of yours closed and leave David alone, then Sam won't be coming along for you. Before you ask Teri, Barbie is coming with us as well. David will that work for you? Myke, are you going to behave?"
David's "YAY" almost overrode Myke's sneaked out "Yes Dad."
Soon the family was all packed for the trip including the two boyfriends, although Myke and Sam, denied they were boyfriend, however, they were never apart, they were actually worse than David and Jake. Luckily for all the Smithfield's had a very large and luxurious nine-passenger van, so the trip to Uncle Darryl's was very comfortable. All the parties had their own rooms, of course, all of the kids used the twin beds together.
When David told Jake what Myke had said the other night at their family meeting Jake's face turned a very bright crimson. However, an ear to ear grin erupted, and he leaned over and whispered into David's ear;
"While Sam and Myke are out of their room why don't we put one of our phones under their bed and turn on that remote recording program that we use at school?"
As Jake started explaining his plan David began to grin and shaking his head "Yes".
And so their revenge was planned, now they had something to hold over the two brats' heads.
The whole family had a wonderful week at the cabin, Uncle Darryl had a closet full of Board Games, as well as several decks of cards. Instead of playing Video Games and watching the Idiot Box, they were busy playing cutthroat games of Monopoly and Sorry.
"Okay kids it's time to learn how to play Double Desk Canasta and we are going to split you into teams..." Melissa had to pause and stifle a laugh as everyone including her husband Tom groaned at the thought of being separated. She knew they were going to groan even more when she announced the teams, plus she was going to politely stick it, Myke and Sam, for what Myke had said about David & Jake.
"Now that everyone is done groaning here are the teams, Myke since you and Sam have said that girls are "icky", Myke you have Barbie, Sam you have Teri..." This time Melissa couldn't stifle her laughter as, of course, on cue Myke, Sam, Teri, and Barbie all groaned.
"Eww, no way!"
Melissa just calmly replied,
"Yes, WAY, now on to the other teams, Jake you are with me, and sorry Tom, you are stuck with David."
As if it was scripted, David and Tom stuck out their tongues at Melissa at the same time.
The game turned out to be a very lively affair with lots of comments back and fourth, of course, the two older teams started heckling the younger teams. However, that didn't last very long as Myke and Barbie's team were the first ones down and the first ones out as well. Sam and Teri weren't very far behind, the older teams, well we will just say that they sucked. They weren't paying attention to what cards the younger teams were picking up, and they kept discarding those cards. The second round was almost the same result, only Sam and Teri went out first and surprisingly Tom and David were a distant second.
"Okay, how are you young twerps kicking our butts?" David was barely able to get his question out before Teri popped off.
"Mommy, David called us a naughty word."
Melissa was about to say something, when Sam spoke up.
"We are beating the pants off of you because unlike you old farts we are paying attention to what cards you are picking up and we don't discard them until we have to, so there."
"Okay KIDS, that's enough picking on each other, Sam and Teri have won the first game. We only have enough time for one more hand. Before we start, we are going to have new teams; Teri you get your Daddy and he needs lots of help..." Tom of course, on cue, stuck out his tongue at his wife who in turn just ignore him.
Melissa decided to really mess with Myke and Sam, Myke and Sam..."
When Melissa paused in here announce both Myke and Sam got shit-eating grins and reached over and high fives each other, however, that was when Melissa coldly lowered the boom, smiling inside while she did it.
As I was saying, Myke, you have Jake, and Sam you have David, now let the cards fall where they may. For some reason, the new teams all clicked, and the round came down to which team had collected the most Red Threes.
After the round, Melissa went to the kitchen to prepare some Hot Chocolate and Eggnog, to David and Jake's surprise Myke and Sam volunteered to help. David and Jake grinned at each other, and then David excuse himself and went upstairs to plant his phone.
The results just might be of interest to all concerned.
After the Hot Chocolate and Eggnog for the adults with some Snickerdoodles, everyone went to bed. What happened that night, we hopefully will find out later.
The next morning began bright and early for everyone, as they were driving home as soon as everyone was showered and dressed had their coffee or Orange Juice.
David and Jake heartily enjoyed their morning shower together, as did Myke and Sam. We can only assume that in addition to washing each other's body they may have been some cream produced. As David and Jake headed downstairs for their mike coffees, they looked into Myke and Sam's room. Both boys were already downstairs as well as their carryalls. David dashed into the room and quickly grabbed his phone; unfortunately, they didn't have time to listen as Melissa was calling them downstairs.
"David and Jake get your slow butts down here and then put your carryalls in the rack on the van. Your coffees are ready for you. So get a move on!"
The two teens yelled as they ran down the stairs and out the front door,
"Yes, Mom, right away Mom, as you say, Mom."
The kitchen broke out in laughter at David and Jake's antics.
When they came back in, they found everyone in the kitchen staring at them; Teri finally broke the silence.
"Where's the rest of your elephants? It sounded like a herd of elephants come down the stairs." Teri then hid behind her Dad.
The ride home was a very joyous one as everyone sang Christmas Carols because they loved the songs. David and Jake switched off driving with Tom until they got near their town and then Tom took over the chore. They were headed to a Dennys® that was only a few blocks from their home. Everyone was going to have The Green Eggs & Ham GrandSlam, along with the free Pancakes for Santa.
Just before they pulled into the restaurant's parking lot, David espied what looked like a Santa Claus from the late 1800s to early 1900s. His clothes were a deeper red than Santa wore now, his beard was a dark gray not the snowy white of current day Santa's. He was completely shocked when the Santa turned and looked David in the eyes winked and waved.
"No way that guy can't be real!"
"Who can't be real? Who or what are you talking about?" Came out of the mouths of everybody in the car but Tom.
David hadn't realized that he uttered those words out loud. He turned back to the window and look back a bit,
"There was an old guy dressed in a very old-fashioned Santa Suit, but he is gone now. I really did see someone."
Jake reached over and patted David on the shoulder, and said,
"It must have been a reflection of that Santa Claus in the window. Tell you what I'll give you my Pancakes for Santa. You can pay me back tonight." Jake then kissed David on the cheek. He then turned and with a look dared Myke and Sam to say anything. For once in their young lives, Myke and Sam did the right thing and stayed silent. Teri and Barbie on the other hand broke out giggling. Jake decided to pull the rug out from under them;
"Do you girls want a kiss from me too?"
The girls responded with,
"Ewww Cooties," and then went back to playing a game that only they seemed to know.
When they entered Denny's, they were greeted by a very handsome College-aged young man, he did look like he needed a tan. David knew that was something different about the young man greeting them, but he couldn't get a finger on it.
"Good morning Folks welcome to the Erehwon Denny's®, my name is Marc, with a "c"." Grinning as he said that.
"I will be your waiter today, I see there are eight in your party, please follow me to your booth." As Marc turned around to lead them to their booth, out of the mouths of babes.
"Mister Marc with a "c", are you an Android?" Teri asked very with the sweetness of an unspoiled child.
With Teri's question, the penny dropped for David.
"If my teachers ever found out that I couldn't recognize an Android when I met one, he will give me a big fat "F" for my project and probably fall me as well.
"What's your name sweetie?" Marc very politely asked Teri.
"I'm Teri with an "i" Mister Marc with a "c" and are you an Android.
"Yes, Teri with an "i", I am an Android, I am part of the Android Worx Program here at the Erehwon Denny's. Now would like to follow me to your booth now or would you like another waiter?"
Teris spoke up before anyone could answer.
"Mister Marc with a "c" we want you to be our waiter." There were no objections probably because everyone was hungry.
Everyone had a wonderful meal as they all pigged on the Christmas Grand Slam with Red Velvet Pancakes. The service was excellent, Marc kept all of their glasses full and kept bringing what seemed to be an everlasting cavalcade of Red Velvet Pancakes. As they were getting ready to leave Marc brought over a Takeout/Take Away Container, and gave it to Teri.
"Little Princess these Red Velvet Pancakes are for you."
Before Marc could get away Teri put her arms around him and gave him a big hug, while telling him,
"Merry Christmas Mister Marc with a "c", she then went skipping out of the restaurant swing the bag carrying her Red Velvet Pancakes to and fro.
Everyone else just shook Marc's hand and wished him a "Merry Christmas" as it seemed the thing to do.
Marc replied, "Have a Wonderful Day, and a Safe drive home."
As they all exited the restaurant David looked around the restaurant's Parking Lot and down the street looking for the ancient-looking Santa Claus, unfortunately, he didn't see him.
'I know I saw him; I know.' David thought.
The ride home was fairly quiet as everyone was stuffed, and they were waiting for their food to settle. When they turned the corner onto the street where they lived Melissa who was driving thought she had somehow made a wrong turn. For instead of their house with only a Porch Light on this is what Mellissa saw:
They all sat there, stunned at what they saw through the windshield/windscreen, "sat" wasn't exactly true as those that could fit were standing behind Melissa and Tom. However, that wasn't their only surprise as they were several more yet to come. They parked the car in the driveway instead of the garage, as it would be ready when Tom went to take Barbie home, Jack was staying or the foreseeable future to get rid of him they would have to throw David out, and that would mean that they would a Taxi Driver for Teri, and Myke. Not that they ever would do something like that, they did love David very much, almost as much as they did their future son-in-law Jake.
Melissa got out of the van first, so that she could unlock and open the front door, as soon as she rounded the corner, she came to a very abrupt and sudden stop. For there on their porch was a vintage Santa Claus strumming his Ukulele, Melissa recognized the song as
(Click on the image to listen to the song) by her favourite group Peter Paul and Mary. Of course, she had stopped so suddenly and was standing there mesmerized by the scene in front of her, that her family ran into her and nearly ran her over. David was the first one to walk around his Mom to what had made her starstruck. What he saw caused him to stop in his tracks as well,
"Santa you are real; I didn't imagine you!"
When Santa saw that all of the Smithfield Party was present, he went up to the front door and magically unlocked it and then opened the door and waved everyone to enter. He then moved off to the side, to stay out of everyone's way, however, when someone slows down, or just stopped in the doorway, Santa appears inside the house to move them along. Once everyone was inside, Santa closed the door and took up position on the porch strumming his Ukulele again; while he was doing that things inside the house had gotten very interesting to stay the least.
This is what they saw in their living room: They had never had a Christmas Tree before, nor had they had all of the new drapes and sashes, they couldn't believe the number of presents that were stacked under the tree either.
David had to go see a man about a horse, he had gotten as far as the Family Room when he yelled out.
"Mom, Dad come see the fireplace, it's beautiful it even has stockings hung on the mantle like the old poem."
"David, we don't have a fireplace!" Tom replied back amusedly.
"Then you don't mind if I keep all of the stockings for myself?" David replied snarkily.
"Fine, I'll come and look at your imaginary fireplace, only because you were right about Santa Claus." Tom bemusedly answered his son. He then turned to his wife and said;
"Hun, get either Dr. Lisa or Dr. Richardson on the phone just in case."
However, before Melissa could even get her iPhone X out of her purse, she heard Tom yell;
"Oh, Shit! Melissa, we have a fireplace, David was absolutely right."
Tom and David smartly move out of the doorway as they didn't want to get run over, or trampled. Tom had barely finished his shocking announcement before he heard the herd of elephants coming to join him and David. This is what all of the excitement was about:
While everyone else was crowding around the hearth to warm up in front of the fireplace that wasn't there, when they left for Uncle Darry's Cabin on the Mountain. David went to the front door and opened it expecting to see Santa so he could thank him for everything and letter him know that Santa Claus was real. However, when David opened the door all that was on the porch was a Parchment Scroll. David walked over, picked up the scroll, unrolled it and began reading;
David heard a from near the street, and this is what he saw:
David then heard,
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad, Happy Kwanzaa, Holy Ramadan, Frohe Weihnachten! , Christmas Alegre! , Joyeux Noel!,God Jul! , Glaedelig Jul! , Nadolig Llawen, Gledelig Jul, Nollaig Shona Duit, Mele Kalikimaka.
I sincerely hope that I have answered the question, "Is Santa Claus Real?". There are several different stories intermingled among my words. Although some of the characters I used may not be mine, all the words are mine. No characters were used against their wills, that's my story and I am sticking to it.
I hope that everyone that is reading this story is having a Safe and Merry Christmas.
Stay Safe and Wear A Mask!