The past few weeks have been amazing. Since Marty's family took me in, it's like all my hopes and dreams have been answered. Christmas is only a few days away, and all I can think of is that all I ever really wanted for Christmas, I already received in the past few weeks. I have a new family; I have brothers who love me and watch over me; I have two people who actually show me every day what it is to be good parents.
Yesterday, I was sitting with my brothers... it feels good to think of them like that... but as I was saying; we were sitting there with Jimmy, who is Marty's boyfriend, Eric, who is Malcolm's boyfriend, and Ben... he's my best friend.
Last week we celebrated Ben’s 12th birthday, my twelfth is about a week away. I've been giving things a lot of thought, but I'm afraid to tell Ben exactly how I feel about him. I mean... I see how Marty and Jimmy are... I see Eric and Malcolm, and I think... why not?
I want to talk to Ben about it, but I'm afraid he won't want to be my friend if I tell him I am attracted to him, and he doesn't feel the same way toward me.
I was in my bed since it was still pretty early thinking about this, wondering what I should do, when there was a knock on my door. I called out to whoever it was to come in and saw Marty standing there in his underwear. At least he put them on before coming over to talk to me. I was so embarrassed the other morning when I woke up with a nightmare and went to his room. I kind of forgot to knock and just went in and there he was lying on his bed completely naked.
When he noticed me there, which wasn't hard since I exclaimed, "Oh My God!", he covered himself. He helped me calm down from my nightmare, but even now, him standing there in his undies, I still have that image of him naked in my brain.
He sat on the edge of my bed and just kind of looked at me. He was quiet for a few moments before he asked, "Afraid to tell him?"
I mean, I was totally floored. How could he know? Was I that transparent? I guess he saw my confusion because he simply said, "It takes one to know one." Then he smiled, and I couldn't help it... I smiled too.
We talked for what seemed like hours, but when we were done, I knew what I had to do.
Later that day, the six of us were sitting there, once again talking about Christmas. I turned to get everyone's attention and said, "You know what Christmas really means to me? It means that we should be better people toward one another. Jimmy and Marty proved what Christmas is really all about when they stopped to check on a boy huddled behind a dumpster trying to hide from the world. It's just like what the four of you did last Christmas, giving to others less fortunate than yourself. But... sometimes... it's okay to want something for yourself."
I'm not sure if they really understood what I was saying until my hero, Marty, asked, "So, what do you want for yourself, Ty?"
Here it was... the moment of truth... "What I want... I... I want to be totally honest with everyone. Some of the best memories I have of Christmas were when Mom would take me to Denny's for our Christmas Dinner. I know... Denny's for Christmas? I just want to share that with all of you, my new family. Marty and his boyfriend Jimmy, Eric and his boyfriend Malcolm, my new parents, and most importantly, a person who I love with all my heart. I'm sorry if this is a shock, but... Benjamin T. Dover... I am in love with you and... I hope you feel the same. I will understand if you don't want to ever talk to me again, but I had to be honest with you... and myself."
The silence was, as they say, deafening. Ben stared at me for well over two minutes before, without a word, he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a very passionate kiss. He had tears running down his cheeks. "I have wanted to tell you how I felt about you for the longest time, but... I never got the vibe you would love me back. Then when I heard what that guy did to you and the way you talked about it... well, I thought it was never going to happen."
"Ben, I talk about what he did to me because he did them TO me, not with me. He didn't give me a choice. He didn't care if I liked it, or if I wanted it. He wanted it so he took it. If you and I go that far, I want both of us to know we want it beforehand."
Ben kissed me again, both of us crying. When I looked around the room, it was empty. After a few minutes, we went out of the room and into the kitchen. Mom, Dad and Jimmy looked at us.
Mom finally broke the silence, "It's about time. Now, sit down and let's talk about this Christmas Dinner at Denny's."
It's New Year's Eve... my 12th birthday. Dinner at Denny's for Christmas was more magical than it ever was with Mom. I mean, I was sharing this with my new family, and most importantly, my new boyfriend and his parents. Everything tasted so much better than I ever remember. The staff in the restaurant were all dressed up as Santa's elves. The manager as the fat man in the red suit himself. We had the most wonderful time. Mom said that maybe we should make Denny's for Christmas a new tradition.
"I don't care, Mom, as long as we're all together... as a family... every day is Christmas."
To all of you, I wish you to have the happiest and healthiest of holidays and a fruitful and prosperous new year. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Joyous Kwanzaa to all of you. At this time of year, we're not all that different.