This story was inspired by a Pearls Before Swine Cartoon by Stephen Pastis, sent to me by a very nice reader dbarber1. Unfortunately, due to copyright restrictions, I can't post the cartoon here, however, there will be a link at the end of the story.
Ugö the Ümlaut was a very lonely umlaut he hadn't had a date in more years than he wanted to count. It was a very tough life being such an unusual and underused character such as an ümlaut, however, he prided himself on being a very important character and not an overused one like a gravè.
Ugö was hoping that the long dry spell in his love life would be ending very soon, well at least that was a possibility. For you see Ugö had his eye on the very hot and desirable Câry the Câret ("Yes, I know the caret is a mathematical symbol and the circumflex is the punctuation symbol. However, as you will see circumflex just won't work in this story. It's my story and I can break as many rules as I want. If you don't like it write to <a href=\"mailto:email@example.com\"> 'Goos'<\/a>"), for the last few months all Ugö and Câry could do was pine at each other across the keyboard or through and across lines and pages of text. For you see the odds of Ugö and Câry ending up in the same paragraph, let alone sentence at the same time were infinitesimal. It seems that not many writers let alone authors mixed French and German words in the same document. Now just maybe Ugö could convince someone to write a scientific, mathematic, or technical document. Then just maybe they might be able to actually talk to each other, rather than just make goo-goo eyes at each other.
Ugö woke up with a start, there was someone new sitting at the keyboard of the way overpowered and over memoried Mac Pro. Usually, it was TSL who only wrote about dragons and space battles, and occasionally about rescuing kids. This new person wore a monocle, yet he spoke with a French accent, maybe there was hope. Maybe the long days of him and Câry pining over each other from long distances might finally be over, wouldn't that be grand. Ugö's thoughts turned to white picket fences, and the pitter patter and giggling voices of his and Câry's scads of adopted children. There were several gravès, a few ampersands, and even an asterisk. But alas things weren't going well for poor Câry and Ugö, while there were lots of ümlauts and cârets being typed they were always on different pages. All poor Ugö could do was sit there demoralized as the sun began its slow and steady slide below the horizon. Ugö, had such hopes for the day and now it seems that his love life would continue to be that of the lovelorn. The sun had just about slid below the horizon and the colours of the sunset were amazingly glorious, yet Ugö's world only existed in the black and white of the typed word. The author had begun typing those dreaded words. . .
No, not those dreaded words these dreaded words, 'So in conclusion' and Ugö's heart fell to the floor in grief, but wait were the author's fingers headed for the ümlaut key, was hope still alive? Stay tuned, same time, same channel! Oh, wait wrong story.
Now back to the real story, 'So, in conclusion, this is the life story of Ugö the Ümlaut and the love of his life the hunk Câry the câret.' Ugö was stunned he couldn't believe his eyes he and Câry were finally together. The fireworks went off, the bells begin to ring, the champagne corks were popped, and they lived happily ever after, or did they? Unfortunately, the answer is not just NO but a RESOUNDING NO! Why you may ask, well it is simple have you ever heard of a Carrot Omelette?
I hope that you enjoyed this whimsical trip into the wild and woolly land of punctuation, it was a blast to write. I again have to thank my reader dbarber1 for the inspiration for this story and to Stephen Pastis for giving me the idea for the comedic aspect of the story. There will be no more chapters of this crazy story, there is no way I can come up with more wild and crazy ideas like this one unless I begin channelling Steve Martin.
As you can see I took lots of poetic license in this story with the accent punctuation, it's my story and I make the rules. Here is the promised link https://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/pearlsbeforeswine/s-2102157
As always comments, as well as criticisms, are always appreciated at The Story Lover.
P.S. This story was written in Canadian English because I can.
ZZZZZZZZZZZ huh? Oh, could I carrot all about that relationship, Ida know. May Bee. Letz Sea. Icon knot fig your it out. grin!
Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher