Gary Patterson glanced at his watch, thinking 'Oh Crap, it's almost time for Patrick to get home from school! I'd better get moving!' He quickly paused his spacecraft monitoring software so that he could prepare his son's favorite snack. Since NASA decided to let the operators from Misson Control telecommute, Gary had found that his working from home increased the bond with his son. This time of year, Thanksgiving Eve, was even better, as he could enjoy the holiday season with his son. He ran into the kitchen, quickly pulling out the ingredients to make a chocolate-chip-banana-split pizza. As the oven was pre-heating, he quickly tossed the crust before coating it with chocolate syrup. After crumbling the chocolate-chip cookie dough over the top, he emptied a drained jar of pineapples over it and placed it in the now-ready oven. After ten minutes, he pulled the pizza out, then immediately soaked it in strawberry sauce. After covering the delicacy with two tubs of Cool Whip, he placed in in the freezer to cool before his son got home.
Thirty minutes later, he was intent on chopping the bananas to place over the top. Not really paying attention, he almost lost a finger (and set a new record for maximum heart rate on his Plutonium Celery Watch!) when his son Patrick snuck up behind him, exclaiming "Hi Daddy, this is my new brother, Ben!!"
After removing the knife from where he had stabbed it through the bottom of the overhead cabinet, Gary put it down next to the gallon of quad-flavor ice-cream he had out to soften.
Gary spun around, only to find his redheaded ten-year-old son standing there holding the hand of an eight-year-old boy with even brighter red hair. With the exception of a pair of shorts that were imprinted in bold letters "Nile Online Gold Express Shipping", the only thing the young boy seemed to be wearing was his freckles and a sash that read "Same Day Delivery".
"Hello Ben, would you like to help me convince your scheming brother to explain just how he managed to pull this off without me knowing about it?" Gary asked with a smirk.
"Does that mean I won't get in trouble if he pees from being tickled?" Ben asked in a shy voice.
"If he wants to keep you, he better not try to pay you back!" Gary replied as he reached out and pulled Patrick into his arms. "Just what did you do, shrimp?" Gary asked the now-giggling boy in his arms.
"You remember the gift card Grandma gave me for my birthday?" Patrick replied, "Nile was running a holiday special, so I ordered Ben during breakfast at school today!"
Just then, the doorbell rang. Pulling Ben under his free arm, Gary took both boys with him to answer it. As he opened the door, he found a shirtless man in a grass skirt standing outside, holding an electronic notepad. "May I help you?" Gary asked.
"Nile Online customer service, my name is Rico," the man began. "Is this the residence of Mr. Patrick Patterson?"
"That's me!" Patrick giggled from the headlock he was now a victim of.
Nodding, Rico continued. "As compensation for the fact that your delivery today was fourty-five seconds late, we have randomly selected another item from the same category that you ordered from. If you find this acceptable, I just need a signature, then I will retrieve the order."
"Daddy, let go!" Patrick exclaimed. Once he was free, he quickly signed for the additional shipment.
Rico verified the signature, then headed to the cargo helicopter he had landed in the middle of the street. Ignoring the creative language lessons that the drivers of the increasingly backed-up traffic were willingly providing, Rico stuck his head through the hatch and said something to someone inside. Seconds later, a man in a grey tuxedo stepped out. Rico grabbed a briefcase, then led the man back to the porch. "Sir, Nile Online profusely apologizes for the delay in service. Would you accept these two boys as compensation?"
Patrick nodded. "Yes, thank you."
"Umm, parent here!" Gary quipped.
"I believe the term would be 'grandparent', Sir," the man in the tux stated. "Mr. Patterson's compensation was randomly selected from the 'adopt a child' section, as he had been browsing that category as well as the 'adopt a sibling' section."
Gary's shock quickly turned into a grin of sadistic glee. "In that case, carry on! Paybacks are a bitch, and karma can be a wonderful thing!"
The man nodded, then turned to Patrick. "Sir, are you prepared to accept Larry and Perry as your adopted sons? As per standard Nile Online guarantees, all legal paperwork has already been approved and shall be filed within thirty minutes of your signature."
"Yep, where do I sign?" Patrick grinned. "Ben, you're gettin' nephews!"
Gary gave Ben a squeeze. "You got here just in time, now you get to help me spoil your brother's new sons!"
"AWESOME!" Ben giggled.
They watched as Patrick signed forty-seven different places, then turned to the twin redheaded six-year-olds (dressed exactly the same as Ben) that were waiting patiently. After pulling them into a cuddle, he said "C'mon guys, you're home now! Your new Grandpa's got a snack waiting for all of us!"