Fred the Elf

As told by Neal Richards to the children of Haven on Christmas Day

Fred, what kind of elf name was that?  Not even Fredrick, just Fred.  To make matters even worse he had a very rare genetic disorder that caused a total lack of sparkle on his cheeks and even worse his ears were hideously deformed, they looked just like human ears.  As a matter of fact Fred looked just like a ten-year-old human boy.  It didn't matter that he was born before Columbus. 

Now Fred liked Human kids, he tended to put more on the 'GOOD' list than really belonged there.  He lacked the magic to change a bad kid to a good kid but he wanted all kids to be good.  Santa had discovered what Fred was doing and so now the list was double checked each and every year.  Fred hadn't changed a list in over a hundred years, but they still didn't trust him.  He was just a ball tester now, bounce the ball, hour after hour, day after day, it was driving him crazy.

So he was almost at the end of his elven rope when he got the summons.  He had to wait outside The Office for twenty minutes.  When he was called he walked nervously into the Big Guy's office.

"Ho. Ho. Ho.  Come on in and have a seat, Fred."

"Thank you, sir."

"I would like to offer you a new position.  It would mean travel, and not being here a good part of the year."

Fred, thought his dreams were coming true, "Can you tell me more, sir?"

"Ho. Ho. Ho.  Of course I can.  Each year there are children that aren't on either list.  I need to find out if they are naughty or nice.  I need someone who can fit into the human world.  Since you look just like a little boy I thought you would be perfect."

"Well I don't know a lot about how to fit in, sir, but I would like to try."

Fred spent the next two weeks studying Humans and getting his magic tuned to be useful to him.  Finally he was assigned a reindeer; No, not one of the well known ones, a third string misfit like himself, named Bartholomew.  Fred immediately shortened his partner's name to Bart.  Besides flying Bart was invisible to Human eyes, which was very handy for undercover work.  He could also make his rider invisible as long as they were in contact with each other.

And so late one October night Fred and Bart left the North Pole and headed for Baltimore.

Fred watched as the boy he was following bumped into the woman, opened her purse and extracted a few dollars, all the while apologizing for being clumsy.  This was the sixth one today.  Now the boy headed down an alley Fred called Bart who arrived instantly and as soon as Fred could, they disappeared to make it much easier to follow the boy.  About twenty minutes later the kid went into what looked like an abandoned building through a window.  Since there was no way for Bart to get in Fred decided he was going to have to befriend the boy.  It wasn't long before the boy came back out and a voice was yelling at him about getting so little.

Fred sent Bart away, once they were back to the main street.  He followed the boy and made sure the kid saw him following.  Finally the kid came up to him, "Look you, bug off!  You're bringing attention to us and that ain't good."

"Nope, not good at all," Fred handed the kid a wad of cash.

"What do you think you're doing?  Don't flash that around like that.  Come on, follow me."  The kid led Fred back into the nearest alley.  "Okay, what's your name?"

"Fred."

"Okay, where you from, Fred?"

"Up North."

"Cool, look you been here long?"

"Just got here."

"You got any skills?"

"Skills? Like picking pockets?"

"Yeah, what else can you do?"

"Not much useful stuff.  I can judge character pretty good and am good at bouncing balls."

"Show me."

Fred pulled six small balls out of his pocket and did a cross between juggling and magic and then held his pocket out and the balls all went right in.

"Crap!  That was awesome!  Can you teach me?"

"I don't know.  It will take time.  I don't have anyplace to stay so I'll have to move on, I guess."

"No way Fred.  You come and stay with us.  Jewel will let you if I ask him."

"You think he will?"

 "I don't see why not.  By the way, I'm Joe."

"Hi Joe, it's nice to meet you."

"Wow, you're polite too.  Okay follow me."  Joe led the way to the place he called home. 

Jewel did let Fred stay for awhile and Fred taught the seven boys how to do tricks with the balls and some simple slight-of-hand kind of magic (not any of the real stuff).  About a week before Christmas he left and returned to The North Pole.

Fred waited outside 'The Office' and finally was admitted with instructions to only take a few minutes of 'The Big Guy's' time.

"Ho. Ho. Ho. Fred.  How did it go?" Santa asked.

"Not too well, Santa, I'm afraid.  I don't know how to evaluate those boys.  They were doing bad things but they are in a bad situation.  Inside they are good boys still, but they have to survive.  In different situations they would be good boys."

"Fred, do you think anyone is naughty and not nice?"

"Oh, yes, sir.  Jewel is not good at all.  He was not even nice as a little boy."

"So what would you do for them, if you were Santa?"

"If I was Santa, I would find them a better life.  I would give them a chance at happiness."

"Ho. Ho. Ho. Fred, you are incredible.  Take the week off.  I've got a new job for you starting on the day after Christmas."

"Right," said Fred.

Fred enjoyed his week off.  He was waiting, with the rest of the elves when Santa returned.  Everyone gasped when they realized Santa was not alone, there were seven boys ranging in age from four to ten in the sleigh.

"Ho. Ho. Ho.  Merry Christmas!  Another good year my Subordinate Clauses, Tis time to relax and begin preparing for next year.  Fred? Where is Fred?"

Fred ran forward, 'The Big Guy' was asking for him in front of everybody.  One of the boys in the sleigh stood and yelled, "Hey Fred!  How'd you get here?  Guys, It's Fred!" Joe yelled and pointed to Fred.

The Sleigh drew to a stop and the seven youngsters came running to greet their friend.  Santa climbed down and joined them.  "Boys, you have met Fred, he is going to be your foster Dad."

"Really?  How is that possible?  He's my age." 

"Ho. Ho. Ho. No, Not quite, although we consider Fred a youngster, he is actually five hundred fifty six years old."  Santa patted Fred on the shoulder.  "Now Fred, your new job is to raise these boys to be good men so that they will be able to return to the Human world and save more children. Just like you did.  It is my gift to you and yours to the children.  Merry Christmas."

Author Comments:
Well Neal writing and telling a story, what a surprise.  For a sixth grader he did very well, it is almost like I wrote it.  I wonder if he will give us another next Christmas.  Let him know what you think atneal@paddedroom.us

Str8mayb@paddedroom.us

Editor's note:  It looks like Fred has a job for some time to come. Thanks Neal for the great Christmas story. I just wanted to thank you for writing it, and I also want to commend you on your proper use of punctuation. Str8mayb, had better be careful you have done a great job. You can give him a run for his money so to speak.  We will all be glad to see more of your stories, 
Darryl
The Radio Rancher
Radiorancher@crackerwriter.us

Fort Chief Editor's Notes:

            Short, sweet and good what more can you ask for. Great Job Neal; you have a soul as well as a heart.

TSL